I Spent My Childhood Punching Midgets.

Hot damn everyone is a terrible parent. Except the good ones. But seriously, the people who spawn seem to be the people who should be given free condoms every day of their lives since they've been 15. You know, just to make sure. If I had a little sprog running around being an annoying little shit at a shopping centre, I know exactly what I'd do. I'd go to the pub, have a quiet pint, then go home and wait for the issue to resolve itself. With any luck, you'd never see the little fucker again. Kid whining at your ankles for sweets at a supermarket? Push the seed over, break their little wrists. Then, on the way to the emergency room, regale them with tales of how freaky their mother is in bed. That'll learn them whatever it is that my point was.
Kids movies are so shit nowadays. They're all preachy and 3D and trying to appeal to adults and kids. Fuck right off. The moral of Shrek? "That girl you like won't like you unless she's as ugly as you." The moral of Finding Nemo? "If you don't listen to your parents or teachers, it doesn't matter, because they'll just risk life and limb to get your disobedient arse back anyway." What utter bullshit. You know what movie I remember best from my childhood? A tale of a family torn apart when a father is killed by his brother, who blames the son. The son flees and spends his formative years under the guidance of a couple of pot-smoking hippies (you know, probably) until his childhood sweetheart comes back, showing him what a deadbeat he's become, inspiring him to go back and take revenge on his bastard uncle. Sound familiar? Well it should.
It's motherfuckin' Lion King! That film remains one of my fondest memories just because it wasn't a preachy pile of shit like the other childhood crap. Even then, I'd figured out the world was full of dickheads trying to get you crushed by antelope, and Simba was basically a slightly less hairy, four legged version of me. Except his integrity and shit. But being a deadbeat for a good portion of your life, I had that.
If you ever have kids, and I hope you don't because they annoy the crap out of me, don't feed them all that saccharine goody-goody crap. Get them learning from the get go. Also, give them a whack if they're being little bastards. It works, suck it up Mr and Mrs Politically Correct Hippie Crap.