I've been a victim of my own hubris before, whether it's insisting that I can eat 8 Mighty Angus burgers in a row while drunk and feeling so ridiculously sick afterward or insisting that I could walk around on a ruptured ankle ligament and finding myself in ridiculous pain. In both these instances, my belief in myself and my ability to do retarded shit in a consistent and thorough fashion has resulted in a lot of unpleasantness. You think I would learn, but frankly, I'm just far to stupid.
You might be wondering where I'm going with this. "What could he be angry about today?" could be running through your head as you start to doubt your lord and master's ability to provide a bitch on a weekly basis. Well, the fact is, I've got nothing, really. There's a few things I'm mildly miffed about, but they are either too insubstantial to get me rolling on a good rant or not quite irritating enough to get me really fired up. I am calm, zen, happy. I'm sipping a cup of tea and watching the lifestyle channel while discussing curtains. I've become that which I once hated.
And that annoys me. You see, the world is a gigantic shithole full of awful people saying dumb things. If you aren't pissed off about SOMETHING, you aren't really paying attention. Train drivers striking because an essential service like them hasn't received a pay rise (even one just to keep up with inflation!) in 4 years... that's pretty horrible. There's still racism, there's still poverty, there's still greed. Even on trivial shit, Soundgarden aren't playing Big Day Out 2011, that kinda sucks. There is so much to complain about, every single person out there SHOULD be able to do what I do, provide a 3-5 paragraph spiel every week about something that is angering or frustrating them.
Stripped of my amazing complaining powers, I wander this earth a lost soul, devoid of meaning or purpose. Or, you know, I would, if it wasn't for the fact that I'm in a super good mood lately... the reasons for this are aware of their existence. But long story short, I have exposed myself as the shallow and irrational person I am, deep down inside. To everyone, I implore you: Do NOT lose your anger, your vitriol or your disappointment just because you're in a good mood. There's still shit out there. Tune in next week when I get my groove back and go on for 10 paragraphs about something trivial that is pissing me off.
Monday, September 27, 2010
Monday, September 20, 2010
Yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah
I fucking hate U2. So goddamn much. I hate them for so many reasons. There's pure, visceral, corrosive hatred leaking out of orifices I just sprouted out of hatred over that band. Why? Because I loved them once, and they hurt me.
They used to be good. Listen to albums like The Unforgettable Fire or The Joshua Tree... these are excellent pieces of music; original, impassioned, honest yet well composed... great albums. Obviously I'm a little young to have watched them blossom from cute young Irish lads with a knack for delay and cooking potatoes to international potato megastars, but I do have a father with a vinyl collection, so there's that. I'm even going to give them the benefit of the doubt for those strange years in the 90's, because there were still some good songs there. I challenge anyone to tell me that songs like "One" or "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" are bad songs, because you would be wrong if you posited this. The problem kinda hits in the late 90's though, when the soul just seems to fall out of them.
I received "All That You Can't Leave Behind" in 2001 for my birthday, it was one of the first albums that was mine. That should be a momentous... thing, a thing you hold onto and cherish and all that crap, but it wasn't. Here was a 12-year-old going "yeah, it's alright, I like a couple songs...". When a fucking 12-year-old gets bored by your music, you know there's a goddamn problem. And I know what you'll say, you'll be all like "but they sell out massive shows and I like their songs and durpy durpy durpy duuuurp" and posit that because they're selling more now, they must be great. Idiot. They appeal to people like you now because they started putting out samey, middle of the road crap that appeals to people with boring office jobs, two bratty kids and unfulfilled dreams. Your life is shitty and you like shitty music.
And then you get the hardcores, who buy every new U2 album out of some misguided loyalty to the band because they've been listening for a long time, sometimes since they started. I'm going to tell you this right now, in no uncertain terms: YOU DON'T OWE THEM SHIT! They're just artists putting out a product, and if you like it, fine. If you don't, you don't need to reason with yourself as to why you should listen to it anyway! Most bands change direction, this is a thing artists do. There are artists who've had changes of direction I've liked, and artists I don't. I have a veritable buttload of bands of which I only listen to one or two of their releases regularly with the others doing nothing for me, then I have bands whom I enjoy everything they've done. There's no loyalty, just personal enjoyment. Do I still listen to Master of Puppets? Fuck yes I do. Would I see Metallica now, or buy their latest album, or even really pay attention to what they've been doing recently? God no, their most recent output has been turdpies. That doesn't make Master any worse, just as Master doesn't make any of their new stuff not-turdpies.
Anyway, U2. Pile of puffed up dog shit. Terrible, boring music made by rich old men who've completely forgotten where they're from. U2 fans, horrible sycophants who're basically the same as cultists, paying for something so they can feel part of an exclusive clique of like minded idiots. You hurt me, Edge. You hurt me deep down in my pants, but it's ok, because I have taste, so I don't buy into your ridiculous bullshit. I hate you all. Especially Bono.
They used to be good. Listen to albums like The Unforgettable Fire or The Joshua Tree... these are excellent pieces of music; original, impassioned, honest yet well composed... great albums. Obviously I'm a little young to have watched them blossom from cute young Irish lads with a knack for delay and cooking potatoes to international potato megastars, but I do have a father with a vinyl collection, so there's that. I'm even going to give them the benefit of the doubt for those strange years in the 90's, because there were still some good songs there. I challenge anyone to tell me that songs like "One" or "Who's Gonna Ride Your Wild Horses" are bad songs, because you would be wrong if you posited this. The problem kinda hits in the late 90's though, when the soul just seems to fall out of them.
I received "All That You Can't Leave Behind" in 2001 for my birthday, it was one of the first albums that was mine. That should be a momentous... thing, a thing you hold onto and cherish and all that crap, but it wasn't. Here was a 12-year-old going "yeah, it's alright, I like a couple songs...". When a fucking 12-year-old gets bored by your music, you know there's a goddamn problem. And I know what you'll say, you'll be all like "but they sell out massive shows and I like their songs and durpy durpy durpy duuuurp" and posit that because they're selling more now, they must be great. Idiot. They appeal to people like you now because they started putting out samey, middle of the road crap that appeals to people with boring office jobs, two bratty kids and unfulfilled dreams. Your life is shitty and you like shitty music.
And then you get the hardcores, who buy every new U2 album out of some misguided loyalty to the band because they've been listening for a long time, sometimes since they started. I'm going to tell you this right now, in no uncertain terms: YOU DON'T OWE THEM SHIT! They're just artists putting out a product, and if you like it, fine. If you don't, you don't need to reason with yourself as to why you should listen to it anyway! Most bands change direction, this is a thing artists do. There are artists who've had changes of direction I've liked, and artists I don't. I have a veritable buttload of bands of which I only listen to one or two of their releases regularly with the others doing nothing for me, then I have bands whom I enjoy everything they've done. There's no loyalty, just personal enjoyment. Do I still listen to Master of Puppets? Fuck yes I do. Would I see Metallica now, or buy their latest album, or even really pay attention to what they've been doing recently? God no, their most recent output has been turdpies. That doesn't make Master any worse, just as Master doesn't make any of their new stuff not-turdpies.
Anyway, U2. Pile of puffed up dog shit. Terrible, boring music made by rich old men who've completely forgotten where they're from. U2 fans, horrible sycophants who're basically the same as cultists, paying for something so they can feel part of an exclusive clique of like minded idiots. You hurt me, Edge. You hurt me deep down in my pants, but it's ok, because I have taste, so I don't buy into your ridiculous bullshit. I hate you all. Especially Bono.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
Titles Are For Lazy Bastards
Let's talk about education, shall we? No, wait, before I get going, just a heads up; this is me in full on rant mode, most of the things I say here are observations, I don't have figures supporting what I say. Just roll with it, it all ties together logically.
So, education system. What a load of shit. I swear to god, you hope against hope that teachers will be mature and not fuck with the already fragile minds of teenagers, but no, we get "OH-EM-GEE EVERYTHING YOU DO HERE WILL AFFECT YOUR LIFE IN SO MANY WAYS AND IF YOU FUCK UP HERE YOU WILL BE A HOMELESS BUM FOREVER!" Excellent, outstanding, that's exactly what kids need to hear. If you fuck up here, you've fucked up forever; that seems to be the crux of what high school teachers are trying to get across. Just throwing it out there, but FUCK THAT SHIT. I get it, you want to motivate them, make them do well in everything they do, open doors, all that crap, but this is not the way to motivate teenagers! To anyone who has said that the education system is too soft nowadays, choke on your own vomit and die. Yeah, it's softened up in some aspects, but it's still the same focus on rote learning, the same chip-away-the-edges education that tries to make everyone into good little worker drones that fit the mold and don't ask too many questions. It's FUCKED. You want motivated students? How about offering them something a bit more than just the rigid, personality crushing banality of memorizing facts? How about offering them the opportunity to learn about what interests them and letting them find their own way in the world rather than piling the stress on them until they latch onto some course or career to shut the shrieking voices up?
Then tertiary education. How excellent it is that there are institutions where people can learn the skills and gain the qualifications to become functioning, contributing members of society. Oh, what's that, they're privately owned and run to make a profit? Well, that doesn't sound right... Oh, wait, never mind, the government will subsidize it, that seems fair considering we're there to enter the workforce and help the country. Except the debt is passed onto you when you start working. Nothing like delaying the pain to make it better. Not only that, the student allowances allocated to people who study are so miniscule that it's barely worth claiming them, especially because they're diminished if you work. So university students are working part time jobs to make ends meet between classes and assignments. Does anyone else see an issue with this? Lazy students? Blow it out of your god-forsaken whore arse, I personally work 30 hours a week on top of a full time course load, and I know people that do more. Apprenticeships have the same issues, what with the pathetic pay and hard work. It's marginally better, but it's still a system that imposes hardships on people trying to gain the skills to contribute to society. Why not just shoot all young people? That's what you want, isn't it, you old fuckers? I fucking loathe the baby boomers.
Ok, that's leading into a new rant, but I'll cut it there. Long story short, the education system makes depressed little worker drones who have to work ridiculously hard and have a stigma of laziness attached to them by a generation of greedy, spoiled, destructive 40-somethings just to get a foot in the door of the world of careers and home ownership. What tremendous bullshit.
So, education system. What a load of shit. I swear to god, you hope against hope that teachers will be mature and not fuck with the already fragile minds of teenagers, but no, we get "OH-EM-GEE EVERYTHING YOU DO HERE WILL AFFECT YOUR LIFE IN SO MANY WAYS AND IF YOU FUCK UP HERE YOU WILL BE A HOMELESS BUM FOREVER!" Excellent, outstanding, that's exactly what kids need to hear. If you fuck up here, you've fucked up forever; that seems to be the crux of what high school teachers are trying to get across. Just throwing it out there, but FUCK THAT SHIT. I get it, you want to motivate them, make them do well in everything they do, open doors, all that crap, but this is not the way to motivate teenagers! To anyone who has said that the education system is too soft nowadays, choke on your own vomit and die. Yeah, it's softened up in some aspects, but it's still the same focus on rote learning, the same chip-away-the-edges education that tries to make everyone into good little worker drones that fit the mold and don't ask too many questions. It's FUCKED. You want motivated students? How about offering them something a bit more than just the rigid, personality crushing banality of memorizing facts? How about offering them the opportunity to learn about what interests them and letting them find their own way in the world rather than piling the stress on them until they latch onto some course or career to shut the shrieking voices up?
Then tertiary education. How excellent it is that there are institutions where people can learn the skills and gain the qualifications to become functioning, contributing members of society. Oh, what's that, they're privately owned and run to make a profit? Well, that doesn't sound right... Oh, wait, never mind, the government will subsidize it, that seems fair considering we're there to enter the workforce and help the country. Except the debt is passed onto you when you start working. Nothing like delaying the pain to make it better. Not only that, the student allowances allocated to people who study are so miniscule that it's barely worth claiming them, especially because they're diminished if you work. So university students are working part time jobs to make ends meet between classes and assignments. Does anyone else see an issue with this? Lazy students? Blow it out of your god-forsaken whore arse, I personally work 30 hours a week on top of a full time course load, and I know people that do more. Apprenticeships have the same issues, what with the pathetic pay and hard work. It's marginally better, but it's still a system that imposes hardships on people trying to gain the skills to contribute to society. Why not just shoot all young people? That's what you want, isn't it, you old fuckers? I fucking loathe the baby boomers.
Ok, that's leading into a new rant, but I'll cut it there. Long story short, the education system makes depressed little worker drones who have to work ridiculously hard and have a stigma of laziness attached to them by a generation of greedy, spoiled, destructive 40-somethings just to get a foot in the door of the world of careers and home ownership. What tremendous bullshit.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Soooooooooo Tired
For reasons I'll cover in the proper post, this week's update is going up on wednesday night. To tide you over, listen to the music of Minute 36, for they are amazing. Here's the link to their myspace: http://www.myspace.com/minute36
Monday, September 6, 2010
About Fuckin' Time!
Woo! Australia has a government! And it's the one I wanted at that. Huzzahs all 'round. I tuned in halfway through Oakeshott's speech and goddamn did the boy have a lot to say, but I'm not begrudging him that.
Additionally, a big fuck you to Bob Katter. The guy might be funny, but describing yourself as a socialist (it's in the West Australian from 4th Sept 2010) then swinging towards Tony H. Christ is straight up hypocrisy. Side note, the H. Christ suffix is meant to be derogatory.
OK, to business. Promises broken, blood of the workers oiling the big machines, fat cats getting rich off the sweat of our brows, blah blah blah. Very little will change, but it's a step in the right direction, so great stuff all round. Bring on the moral decay!
Additionally, a big fuck you to Bob Katter. The guy might be funny, but describing yourself as a socialist (it's in the West Australian from 4th Sept 2010) then swinging towards Tony H. Christ is straight up hypocrisy. Side note, the H. Christ suffix is meant to be derogatory.
OK, to business. Promises broken, blood of the workers oiling the big machines, fat cats getting rich off the sweat of our brows, blah blah blah. Very little will change, but it's a step in the right direction, so great stuff all round. Bring on the moral decay!
I Want To Destroy, Possibly.
Man, fuckin' punk music. Ruined a generation of musicians. It's fucking ridiculous. Punk has got to be the only genre where the look and the philosophy was more important than the music. Seriously, what the hell?
Early punk, waaaay back in the day, man that was dumb. What was it, rock music got too hard for the common man, so you had to play sped up Chuck Berry riffs and sing about bus drivers? If you can sit there and tell me that Pink Floyd made bad music, or it was too smart for you, or it didn't speak to your problems, you're either a liar or an idiot. The truth is, these were garage musicians who made a career out of being loud and abrasive for no reason, and a generation of disenfranchised English youth were dumb enough to latch on.
Then you get this divergence. With the exception of some particularly talented hardcore groups like Bad Brains and Black Flag, who were all skilled at the instruments and genuinely interesting musicians (Greg Ginn for the win), you just had a bunch of guys trying to smash powerchords as fast as they could. Don't believe me? Listen to Minor Threat or The Circle Jerks (two very influential and respected hardcore bands) and tell me where the melodies, or the cool harmony, or the trenchant insights, or the interesting structuring, or ANYTHING experimental or different is. Hell, fuck different, point out something catchy and I'll call it a draw.
And then there's "Post-Punk" or whatever that term means, because I'll be damned if you could call Gang of Four or Magazine even remotely punk. I've heard The Smiths referred to as "Post-Punk". Yeah, sure, they emerged after punk, but so did Poison, and i'd say The Smiths music is about as punk-y as Poison anyway. Seems to me like any band designated "Post-Punk" was just a band punks wanted to latch onto, regardless of how "punk" they were.
Then there's straight-edge, emo, no-wave... just a rich tapestry of dumb ideas latched onto by losers. I'm not saying that punk fans are any more or less of losers than metalheads, prog nuts, raver kids or any of that stupid shit, it's aaaaaaaaaall stupid. What I am saying is that punk is so expansively stupid, yet it has this lasting cultural legacy that just makes me wonder where musicians went bad. John McGeoch is an awesome guitarist, stop associating him with you!
Early punk, waaaay back in the day, man that was dumb. What was it, rock music got too hard for the common man, so you had to play sped up Chuck Berry riffs and sing about bus drivers? If you can sit there and tell me that Pink Floyd made bad music, or it was too smart for you, or it didn't speak to your problems, you're either a liar or an idiot. The truth is, these were garage musicians who made a career out of being loud and abrasive for no reason, and a generation of disenfranchised English youth were dumb enough to latch on.
Then you get this divergence. With the exception of some particularly talented hardcore groups like Bad Brains and Black Flag, who were all skilled at the instruments and genuinely interesting musicians (Greg Ginn for the win), you just had a bunch of guys trying to smash powerchords as fast as they could. Don't believe me? Listen to Minor Threat or The Circle Jerks (two very influential and respected hardcore bands) and tell me where the melodies, or the cool harmony, or the trenchant insights, or the interesting structuring, or ANYTHING experimental or different is. Hell, fuck different, point out something catchy and I'll call it a draw.
And then there's "Post-Punk" or whatever that term means, because I'll be damned if you could call Gang of Four or Magazine even remotely punk. I've heard The Smiths referred to as "Post-Punk". Yeah, sure, they emerged after punk, but so did Poison, and i'd say The Smiths music is about as punk-y as Poison anyway. Seems to me like any band designated "Post-Punk" was just a band punks wanted to latch onto, regardless of how "punk" they were.
Then there's straight-edge, emo, no-wave... just a rich tapestry of dumb ideas latched onto by losers. I'm not saying that punk fans are any more or less of losers than metalheads, prog nuts, raver kids or any of that stupid shit, it's aaaaaaaaaall stupid. What I am saying is that punk is so expansively stupid, yet it has this lasting cultural legacy that just makes me wonder where musicians went bad. John McGeoch is an awesome guitarist, stop associating him with you!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Ruth Callaghan is a God-Damn Champ
Why do I love doing a Media Law and Ethics unit? I'll tell you why, it's because it's a little insight into just how badly my arse is going to get sued if this fucker gets popular. It's AWESOME. So far, the list of shit I could be charged with is:
At least one count of Sedition (communicating something critical of the established order)
Inciting criminal acts (I've got assault and theft in there somewhere)
Inciting hatred against a group of people (idiots and liberal voters, I suppose)
A butt-load of defamation.
You know the great thing? If enough people read this, the Federal Government can take action against me! Just for writing a blog. It's so awesome I might cry. Everyone, become a follower, tell your friends, go viral. Let's get my arse in the papers.
At least one count of Sedition (communicating something critical of the established order)
Inciting criminal acts (I've got assault and theft in there somewhere)
Inciting hatred against a group of people (idiots and liberal voters, I suppose)
A butt-load of defamation.
You know the great thing? If enough people read this, the Federal Government can take action against me! Just for writing a blog. It's so awesome I might cry. Everyone, become a follower, tell your friends, go viral. Let's get my arse in the papers.
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