Here at Tuesday Night Wrist, sometimes we (I) make it seem like we (I) have all the answers. While this is the case a lot of the time, there are some things that aren't so clear cut as to be a case of "here's the problem, here's what we can do to solve it, here's why people who disagree are retarded." I hate those, they remind me that I don't have all the answers.
I didn't really want to write in this vein, because it's far more ponderous and thoughtful than what you usually get here, but a friend suggested I use it as a tool to try and get some clarity into my opinions, and hell, it might get other people thinking too, who knows. Weirder things have happened. So, here goes: My internal conflict on the subject of decriminalised and regulated legal prostitution.
First things first, some basics. 1) It's not the oldest industry in the world, agriculture is. Sex predates agriculture, but it doesn't predate simple economic systems. Besides, even if it was the oldest industry (which it isn't), who cares? Religion is really old, and we all know how I feel about that. 2) I'm not a radical feminist or anything, I'm not one of those "all sex is rape!" nutjobs. I respect some of their reasoning, but to call all penetrative sex between a man and a woman "rape" is such an incredibly long bow to draw, I can't be bothered with it. I'm not gonna use the "well I've had sex with a girl and I'm not a rapist!" canard, but to claim that all women are being forced into sex by society is... an oversimplification. 3) I'm certainly not torn about the issue because I'm an anti-sex conservative prude. Seriously, it's 2011, fuck whatever consenting entity you like.
So, reasons why the decriminalisation and regulation of prostitution would be a good thing; like drugs and gambling, sex is a thing all people (to some extent) do. It's not dirty and to be shunned, just like it's not a sacred expression of love between a man and a woman or whatever the fuck Disney has girls believing now. Let's be 100% realistic here, the human race has sex with itself a lot, very regularly, for lots of different reasons. In fact, think about it; the odds favour at least two of your Facebook friends are having sex right now. One big reason that prostitution is seen as such a taboo is because sex itself is taboo, but the sex taboo is nonsense. So from that perspective, yes, it makes sense to decriminalise and regulate prostitution as a way of making sex and sexual matters less of a social hot-button.
Also, while we're being honest with ourselves, let's all just admit right now; some people go to prostitutes. I'm not saying you do, or that you should, but some people do. Not everyone who goes to prostitutes are creeps or weirdos or rapists who haven't snapped yet, or anything like that. Some people just want to trade money for sex. I'm not gonna make a moral judgement either way (but as you may have guessed, my opinion is the standard "as long as they're both consenting adults..." stuff), and realistically, the whole "why would you sell your dignity!?" thing smacks of total bullshit. If you're worried about dignity, would you ever do a service job? Or a cleaning job? Or any job where you have to wear a silly hat or uniform? The fact is, the vast majority of jobs are paying you to do something that taxes your dignity and your sanity. Having sex for reasons other than lust, love or fondness is less dignified than cleaning toilets? I've done both, and I'd much rather be having crappy sex than cleaning toilets any fucking day. Yes, I realise that prostitutes aren't just having crappy sex, they're having regular sex with lots of different people in a fashion that may be unpleasant, but I maintain that in terms of undignified and taxing work, there are a fair few jobs that'd rank as just as or more unpleasant than work in the sex industry.
So, why don't I use the word "legalised"? Because that's not what the issue is. Some places have it such that it's not illegal to be a prostitute but it is illegal to solicit one. While I think that this goes some way to weeding out the creeps and treats the women involved more like citizens and less like criminals, it still carries a certain degree of social taboo. Decriminalised and regulated means that it will not be a crime to partake on either side, but it will be monitored in such a way to ensure the safety of everyone involved. John registration feels slightly Big Brother-y to me, but some sort of system wherein all activities can be made sure to be clean and, you know, not completely degrading or unpleasant for the prostitute, man or woman, is something I can get behind.
Now, after all that, it seems like I'd be all for the decriminalisation and regulation of prostitution, but the thing is, I'm not. These are less clear cut, but I can't be a wholehearted supporter of that cause while these things are still rattling around in my head.
First of all, a guest lecturer in a journalism unit very much put me in my place about the topic. She was quite a horrendous bitch on virtually every other topic, but when I asked her why it wouldn't help the working women (and I guess men by proxy) to make them less demonised and unprotected, her answer surprised me to the point of speechlessness. I can't remember her exact wording, but it was something along the lines of "what made you think that is what makes them unsafe in the first place?" She elaborated on this by explaining that what really makes prostitution so dangerous is what the girls involved are asked to do; it's not always "regular" sex. She had interviewed a lot of different working girls, all the way from upper class call girls to trafficked sex workers, and a surprising majority of them had claimed that a considerable percentage of their clients had wives or girlfriends. Further, the problem wasn't that they couldn't "get any". The problem was that the "any" they wanted wasn't the "any" their partners wanted to give; it was unprotected, anal, dangerous, dominating, you get the picture. The problem is, in short, that prostitutes aren't used as "sex workers" but "sex whipping boys" who, by virtue of their job, HAVE to consent to situations that put them in real danger. I don't have an answer as to how to stop this, but it's definitely something that needs to be addressed before prostitution can be made "safe."
Further, a feminist reading of the situation in general reveals a few interesting ideas. Please try not to get turned off by the phrase "patriarchal construct," I promise I'm going somewhere with this. You could make the argument that the idea of "sex as necessary" is a social construct in some small way, because physiologically, it's kinda not. Yes, humans (particularly males) do need some form of sexual release, but masturbation fills that role. We need companionship, but realistically, prostitution doesn't fill that. Escorts could, possibly, but it's largely a social problem that is rooted in the inherent alienation and impersonal nature that is a part of modern life. The idea that, in order to be happy and relaxed, we MUST bonk another person no matter the cost is... well, it's crazy. There are celibate folks that have pretty much proved that you don't have to, and yet it's used as a justification as to why, in the end, it's OK to be sex obsessed.
For the record, I'm not trying to make it sound like I'm somehow above all this. Yeah, I've been known to objectify women (I challenge anyone to tell me, honestly, that they haven't ogled a member of the gender they're attracted to. If you have, that's objectifying. You don't stare at a lady's arse thinking "fuck, I'd love a conversation with her") and I'm a fan of sex. Sex is great fun. I'm comfortable with saying "society's view of sex is pretty warped" but if you were to ask me how, or why, I couldn't give you a straight answer. I hope this stuff gets people thinking, but right now I'm just bummed that I feel more confused than before. How depressing.
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