Why on earth do nice girls date awful guys? There must be a reason. Well, there is, and here it is. Oh yeah, that was the best introduction I've ever written. I am easily the single greatest writer of my generation.
So, once folks leave high school, they surely realise that "popularity" is about the dumbest thing to happen to social interaction since AIDS. The timing doesn't quite sync up there, but still, roll with it. Anyway, with all that pesky teenage crap out of the way, relationships would be a lot smoother, right? Except that isn't exactly how it goes down. See, there's this period after high school where everyone is just that little bit smarter so they'll hang around with pretty much anyone, but not smart enough to realise drama is made by people, not just conjured from the aether when groups of people coalesce.
So, in high school, it's fair to say everyone has the personality of a wet rag. My current theory is that until they hit about 17-18, all high school students are basically interchangeable, save the random social group sorting that seems to happen. The only way to differentiate one another is by said social grouping. I'd factor looks into this, but my alcohol-blurred memories of high school contain "unpopular" girls who were really quite good looking and some "popular" girls who were basically unfuckable, so there goes that theory. Anyway, as a young lad with a fancy new prong emerging betwixt your legs, your thoughts inevitably stray to landing some (and lets face it, at 15 it's fair to say any) tail. As a popular lad, this may have been forthcoming, but if you aren't one of the lucky few, you get stuck idolising chicks who are hopelessly "out of your league" and learning the best ways to choke the chicken. Suddenly you're out of high school, with a new personality and social skills better than the average fish, and you can actually have a conversation with a woman. Shocking.
So what happens? Well, you're still stuck in that "league" mindset. As nonsensical as it is, you just can't shake the idea that any girl who is appealing to you is somehow unreachable. The problem is, because of that, no action gets taken. Where does that leave you? In the horror of horrors, the friend zone.
And the ridiculous thing? If you'd ballsed up and approached it like a big boy, you probably could have gotten a date, you wiener. I'm not going to pretend to have a grand insight into the workings of the female mind, because god-damn that thing is complicated, but there is one thing that's for sure; most girls don't want to date dickheads. They'd actually prefer someone who's going to treat them right. Problem is, nice guys are about as pathetic as it gets when it comes to actually manning up and making a move, for fear of ruining the friendship, or rejection, or any of those ostensibly silly but surprisingly common things. Unfortunately, the girls in turn start to think it's something that they're doing wrong, so they wear more make-up, get body hang-ups and basically become insecure.
So who wins here? The answer is the douchebags. As much as they deserve a horrendous bitch and they can argue and cheat on each other all they like, they'll eventually end up with a nice girl for two reasons.
1) They're confident enough to go and take what they want.
2) The nice girls are insecure because the nice guys don't seem interested.
And then we're back where we started, where so-called nice guys can't find a nice girl because they're all dating dickheads while the nice girls lament that none of the nice guys seem interested. What a wonderful, wonderful cycle.
And so, the hidden truth here? Pretty simple. There's no such thing as "leagues" when it comes to dating, it's just a massive conspiracy by jersey shore watching, club hopping douchebags to get rid of the nice guy competition and bag themselves an nice, insecure girl. Rise up, nice guys, and take to the streets. Or whatever.
P.S. Before you ask, I've taken my own advice here and it worked. I'm not saying it'll work every time, but being assertive has a <0% success rate, while hanging around, being friendly and waiting for her to figure it out doesn't. True stories.
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