Yeah, what the title said. Anyway, here is, in no particular order, my thoughts on the 2011 Big Day Out in Perth.
Condom balloons. I don't know if this is a uniquely Australian, uniquely Perthian or uniquely Big Day Out, but hot damn is it uniquely stupid. Of all the things you could do with condoms, blowing them into balloons and batting them around during John Butler Trio would rank as one of the stupider things you could do with them. Hell, it wasn't even during Rammstein, when anything dick-related is appropriate. My hat does go off to the people handing out free condoms during the event, high fives for reality. Kids are gonna have sex, best we make it safe. Curiously, they also hand out free sachets of lubricant. That seems slightly less utilitarian to me. I mean, I get the condoms, no one wants a Big Day Out baby, but the lube? It's like "hell, if you're gonna get it on in a port-a-loo, may as well get freaky." So yeah, nice of them to be mature, but the lube seems a little superfluous. Unless it's for gay people or people who are otherwise buttsex inclined. In that case, good on you for covering all bases!
The annual perv day that is Big Day Out. I'm a little curious as to why girls opt to wear as little clothing as one sees on the average stripper during this specific event. It most certainly can't be a keeping cool thing, because this attire really transcends shorts and a top, this is full on, heavy duty slutwear. It can't be comfort either, because some of those outfits look really, well, uncomfortable. Corsets all day? I'm good thanks. Also, probably more G-strings than was on the guitars. But hey, if a tiny, fitted corset and a thong sticking out from the remnants of shorts is what you want to wear all day, in the sun, surrounded by sweaty metalheads, you go girl. Interesting sidenote, try spending most of the day in that environment with a blueballed friend; after a while, his "I'd do ______ to that chick" got less and less sexy and closer to disturbing. The person I'm talking about knows who he is, and I insist he gets some action, asap.
Hip-hop acts on the main stage! What the hell, Ken West? I know it's popular now, but so's Katy Perry. Seriously, make it a little more crowd appropriate. Dumping Lupe Fiasco and Nondescript Australian Hip-Hop Guys (yeah, that's the bands name. I'm not lying. Or maybe I am. Fuck Australian hip-hop) right in between AC/DC tribute band Airbourne and the mighty, mighty Deftones is stupid as all hell. Seriously, bit of a tonal shift, maybe? Dead Letter Circus (prog metal), Airbourne (hard rock), Lupe Fiasco (who gives a shit), Bliss and Eso (aforementioned shite), Deftones (fuck yeah alt metal), Birds of Tokyo (guitars 'n shit, they're ok). Maybe it's just me, but it just screws with the whole feeling that's happening. Awesome for all the Deftones fans that started booing them towards the end of their set, though.
Best moments: The whole Dead Letter Circus set, failed yet fun circle pit during "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K., Kim Benzie from DLC (who's my favourite band at the moment, I wonder?) singing the Maynard James Keenan parts during "Passenger" by Deftones, Iggy Pop flipping off the John Butler Trio for dragging their set on for too long, the cement mixer penis covering the crowd with fake semen during Rammstein and Maynard announcing that Tool would keep playing until "someone kicks us off". They only played two more songs after that, but still, it was awesome.
As a dickhead, however, I have to mention that Maynard's steady loss of his voice is a little upsetting, bordering on the insipid. The best parts of "Vicarious" and "The Pot" were so incredibly anticlimactic that they were akin to masturbating to the point of release and then stopping before the money shot and watching the news instead. Just so frustrating... Seriously Maynard, get some vocal coaching or something, we want the big sustained notes.
Being the generous kinda guy I am, I will also do a full length post on Tuesday. This was going to be the Tuesday post but I figured that was lazy. Feel free to send me hundreds of dollars as a thankyou.
No comments:
Post a Comment