Why on earth do nice girls date awful guys? There must be a reason. Well, there is, and here it is. Oh yeah, that was the best introduction I've ever written. I am easily the single greatest writer of my generation.
So, once folks leave high school, they surely realise that "popularity" is about the dumbest thing to happen to social interaction since AIDS. The timing doesn't quite sync up there, but still, roll with it. Anyway, with all that pesky teenage crap out of the way, relationships would be a lot smoother, right? Except that isn't exactly how it goes down. See, there's this period after high school where everyone is just that little bit smarter so they'll hang around with pretty much anyone, but not smart enough to realise drama is made by people, not just conjured from the aether when groups of people coalesce.
So, in high school, it's fair to say everyone has the personality of a wet rag. My current theory is that until they hit about 17-18, all high school students are basically interchangeable, save the random social group sorting that seems to happen. The only way to differentiate one another is by said social grouping. I'd factor looks into this, but my alcohol-blurred memories of high school contain "unpopular" girls who were really quite good looking and some "popular" girls who were basically unfuckable, so there goes that theory. Anyway, as a young lad with a fancy new prong emerging betwixt your legs, your thoughts inevitably stray to landing some (and lets face it, at 15 it's fair to say any) tail. As a popular lad, this may have been forthcoming, but if you aren't one of the lucky few, you get stuck idolising chicks who are hopelessly "out of your league" and learning the best ways to choke the chicken. Suddenly you're out of high school, with a new personality and social skills better than the average fish, and you can actually have a conversation with a woman. Shocking.
So what happens? Well, you're still stuck in that "league" mindset. As nonsensical as it is, you just can't shake the idea that any girl who is appealing to you is somehow unreachable. The problem is, because of that, no action gets taken. Where does that leave you? In the horror of horrors, the friend zone.
And the ridiculous thing? If you'd ballsed up and approached it like a big boy, you probably could have gotten a date, you wiener. I'm not going to pretend to have a grand insight into the workings of the female mind, because god-damn that thing is complicated, but there is one thing that's for sure; most girls don't want to date dickheads. They'd actually prefer someone who's going to treat them right. Problem is, nice guys are about as pathetic as it gets when it comes to actually manning up and making a move, for fear of ruining the friendship, or rejection, or any of those ostensibly silly but surprisingly common things. Unfortunately, the girls in turn start to think it's something that they're doing wrong, so they wear more make-up, get body hang-ups and basically become insecure.
So who wins here? The answer is the douchebags. As much as they deserve a horrendous bitch and they can argue and cheat on each other all they like, they'll eventually end up with a nice girl for two reasons.
1) They're confident enough to go and take what they want.
2) The nice girls are insecure because the nice guys don't seem interested.
And then we're back where we started, where so-called nice guys can't find a nice girl because they're all dating dickheads while the nice girls lament that none of the nice guys seem interested. What a wonderful, wonderful cycle.
And so, the hidden truth here? Pretty simple. There's no such thing as "leagues" when it comes to dating, it's just a massive conspiracy by jersey shore watching, club hopping douchebags to get rid of the nice guy competition and bag themselves an nice, insecure girl. Rise up, nice guys, and take to the streets. Or whatever.
P.S. Before you ask, I've taken my own advice here and it worked. I'm not saying it'll work every time, but being assertive has a <0% success rate, while hanging around, being friendly and waiting for her to figure it out doesn't. True stories.
Monday, February 28, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Further Expositions of Truth!
Whoa, it's getting hard to post on Tuesdays for some reason. Weird. So another early post. Praise the lawd.
So, exposing more hidden truths of stuff. This time around, it's energy drinks. These things baffle me, because coffee tastes better and doesn't rape your organs as badly, but apparently some people need huge amounts of caffeine and sugar to function. Me, I'm a salt and booze junkie, so I don't need the hypervitamins that energy drinks provide.
Interestingly enough, and by interesting I mean I couldn't think of a good segue here, they're crammed full of weird chemicals. 250mL of red bull has 27g of sugar and 80mg of caffeine. High sugar intake has been conclusively linked to the onset of type 2 diabetes and large doses of caffeine can cause something called "caffeinism" (real imaginative name) which has a whole host of unpleasant side effects. additionally, caffeine can make certain medicines more toxic than they already are. I didn't even realise medicine was toxic, but there you go. If you take enough, you can also get hallucinations, but I don't know if that's a good or bad side-effect. Additionally, hospitalisations due to caffeine poisoning have been recorded for doses as small as 2 grams. The lethal dose appears to be the equivalent of 80-100 cups of coffee for an adult male. That's one to try on the weekend.
Weird thing is, all energy drinks taste like crap. That's a little subjective, but to me, they just smell bad. I know a few people that do drink them, and the consensus is that they drink them to stay buzzed for study or work or whatever, not for the taste. If you do drink them for the taste, more power to you, but they really just taste... odd.
So, what 's the crux of all this? Well, they're full of all kinds of mood altering goodies, although people probably think they need them more than they actually do. They don't taste unpleasant, but personal experience seems to point to them not being anyone's absolute favourite beverage. The hidden truth of energy drinks seems to be "people will buy, consume and become dependent on anything that is crammed full of stuff if they can be convinced they need said stuff to function, even though they were doing fine without them before." I suppose that's a little obvious, but to be fair, a beer buzz makes you charming and handsome, while a caffeine buzz turns you into a more mellow version of a crack addict.
So, exposing more hidden truths of stuff. This time around, it's energy drinks. These things baffle me, because coffee tastes better and doesn't rape your organs as badly, but apparently some people need huge amounts of caffeine and sugar to function. Me, I'm a salt and booze junkie, so I don't need the hypervitamins that energy drinks provide.
Interestingly enough, and by interesting I mean I couldn't think of a good segue here, they're crammed full of weird chemicals. 250mL of red bull has 27g of sugar and 80mg of caffeine. High sugar intake has been conclusively linked to the onset of type 2 diabetes and large doses of caffeine can cause something called "caffeinism" (real imaginative name) which has a whole host of unpleasant side effects. additionally, caffeine can make certain medicines more toxic than they already are. I didn't even realise medicine was toxic, but there you go. If you take enough, you can also get hallucinations, but I don't know if that's a good or bad side-effect. Additionally, hospitalisations due to caffeine poisoning have been recorded for doses as small as 2 grams. The lethal dose appears to be the equivalent of 80-100 cups of coffee for an adult male. That's one to try on the weekend.
Weird thing is, all energy drinks taste like crap. That's a little subjective, but to me, they just smell bad. I know a few people that do drink them, and the consensus is that they drink them to stay buzzed for study or work or whatever, not for the taste. If you do drink them for the taste, more power to you, but they really just taste... odd.
So, what 's the crux of all this? Well, they're full of all kinds of mood altering goodies, although people probably think they need them more than they actually do. They don't taste unpleasant, but personal experience seems to point to them not being anyone's absolute favourite beverage. The hidden truth of energy drinks seems to be "people will buy, consume and become dependent on anything that is crammed full of stuff if they can be convinced they need said stuff to function, even though they were doing fine without them before." I suppose that's a little obvious, but to be fair, a beer buzz makes you charming and handsome, while a caffeine buzz turns you into a more mellow version of a crack addict.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
The Hidden Truth Of Stuff
Post goes up Monday because I'm busy all day tomorrow. If this is a problem, please stick your face in a tank full of jellyfish.
This is part 1 in my series on the Hidden Truth of Stuff. Ever wondered what the underlying messages of regular occurrences are? Well, here's me making shit up on them!
Part 1: Condom vending machines in guys toilets in pubs and clubs. Now, I'm ostensibly a fan of these, for two reasons; abstinence dispensers don't exist and abstinence is a dumb strategy. People are gonna have sex, it's gonna happen pretty often in the weirdest of places and the last thing we need is the offspring of two drunks who probably shouldn't be breeding in the first place. When single people drink around other single folk (hell, they don't even need to be single, but it helps a little), there's a good chance there'll be some sort of fluid transaction, so giving people easy access to the means to prevent babies is a winner in my book. However, looking at a few simple facts about these dispensers reveals some slightly disturbing truths.
They generally cost $2 for 2 condoms. So, a dollar a condom, as opposed to about 9 bucks for a pack of 12 (or thereabouts) when buying them outside a toilet. Now, as anyone who's ever been in this position will tell you, when that moment comes you'd rather pay ten dollars for one than save your money and go without. Unless you're the kind of jerk who just doesn't wear condoms when rooting randoms. Don't be that guy. At any rate, the point of this is that there's a point during the night when you'd rather pay more than you'd normally have to for the seedcatchers. Your inhibitions are lowered and you're fairly certain you're gonna need them, so who are you to argue, right?
Oddly, pretty much all the condom dispensers I've seen in pub and club toilets give out studded condoms. I would have thought plain ones would have been a better bet, but apparently not. What is it about studded condoms? Well, apparently they offer extra pleasure for both man and woman, so huzzahs all around for that one. Pleasure is probably one of those things that you could always do with a bit more of. Seems odd that they'd offer those exclusively, but who am I to judge, right? Maybe they think you need the help.
So, charging more for a product that assists in the pleasure provision? I think I see what's going on here. Yes, I can safely say that the underlying truth of condom dispensers in men's toilets is: "If you are using this device, you are pretty confident you're getting laid tonight, too excited by this prospect to notice being over-charged and too drunk to complete the act in a way that you or the lady will enjoy. As such, enjoy our coitus-assisting contraception." Happy rooting, everyone.
P.S. Happy Valentines Day to everyone with a partner or a casual. To those single or otherwise un-paired, my condolences. And by condolences I mean "ha ha sucks to be you."
This is part 1 in my series on the Hidden Truth of Stuff. Ever wondered what the underlying messages of regular occurrences are? Well, here's me making shit up on them!
Part 1: Condom vending machines in guys toilets in pubs and clubs. Now, I'm ostensibly a fan of these, for two reasons; abstinence dispensers don't exist and abstinence is a dumb strategy. People are gonna have sex, it's gonna happen pretty often in the weirdest of places and the last thing we need is the offspring of two drunks who probably shouldn't be breeding in the first place. When single people drink around other single folk (hell, they don't even need to be single, but it helps a little), there's a good chance there'll be some sort of fluid transaction, so giving people easy access to the means to prevent babies is a winner in my book. However, looking at a few simple facts about these dispensers reveals some slightly disturbing truths.
They generally cost $2 for 2 condoms. So, a dollar a condom, as opposed to about 9 bucks for a pack of 12 (or thereabouts) when buying them outside a toilet. Now, as anyone who's ever been in this position will tell you, when that moment comes you'd rather pay ten dollars for one than save your money and go without. Unless you're the kind of jerk who just doesn't wear condoms when rooting randoms. Don't be that guy. At any rate, the point of this is that there's a point during the night when you'd rather pay more than you'd normally have to for the seedcatchers. Your inhibitions are lowered and you're fairly certain you're gonna need them, so who are you to argue, right?
Oddly, pretty much all the condom dispensers I've seen in pub and club toilets give out studded condoms. I would have thought plain ones would have been a better bet, but apparently not. What is it about studded condoms? Well, apparently they offer extra pleasure for both man and woman, so huzzahs all around for that one. Pleasure is probably one of those things that you could always do with a bit more of. Seems odd that they'd offer those exclusively, but who am I to judge, right? Maybe they think you need the help.
So, charging more for a product that assists in the pleasure provision? I think I see what's going on here. Yes, I can safely say that the underlying truth of condom dispensers in men's toilets is: "If you are using this device, you are pretty confident you're getting laid tonight, too excited by this prospect to notice being over-charged and too drunk to complete the act in a way that you or the lady will enjoy. As such, enjoy our coitus-assisting contraception." Happy rooting, everyone.
P.S. Happy Valentines Day to everyone with a partner or a casual. To those single or otherwise un-paired, my condolences. And by condolences I mean "ha ha sucks to be you."
Saturday, February 12, 2011
Children Provide Important Protein.
Just a quick word on human rights 'n shit. I saw a pop up ad advertising to help dogs avoid a painful death in Bali. It might just me, but if that had said "Britain" or "America" or any first world country I might have given a shit. Thing is, the plight of Balinese dogs doesn't rank to highly on my radar when I consider the plight of Balinese people. Some of them are doing OK, sure, but poverty, illness and hunger are pretty widespread over there and it turns my stomach a little to think of children not getting enough to eat.
I'm all for animal rights, in countries where people are educated and doing well enough financially, there shouldn't be animal cruelty. Unfortunately, there exists places where that isn't the case, so a campaign to save dogs, and not people, strikes me as a typically oblivious middle class white person's cause. I understand you want to do the right thing, but what you're doing isn't that. If I had to choose, I'd rather see a stray dog starve than a child. There I said it, come get me PETA.
I'm all for animal rights, in countries where people are educated and doing well enough financially, there shouldn't be animal cruelty. Unfortunately, there exists places where that isn't the case, so a campaign to save dogs, and not people, strikes me as a typically oblivious middle class white person's cause. I understand you want to do the right thing, but what you're doing isn't that. If I had to choose, I'd rather see a stray dog starve than a child. There I said it, come get me PETA.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Hopefully This Will End Well.
I've got no specific ideas for what to whinge about, having used up my one idea yesterday. So I'm just gonna riff on whatever comes into my head for a while until the post is up to a good length. There might be some people who're happy about this, I assure you you shouldn't be.
People seem to hate critics. I don't know why. Critics are awesome when they do their job correctly. See, good critics should fall into two categories: embittered bastards who's job it is to say horrible things about people, staying just shy of being illegal and never being that serious and legitimate observers of a craft who make reasoned judgements based on experience and study. The problem I seem to hear a lot is "but that's just their opinion, (what they've just criticised) might be good!" Well excuse me, dickweed, I didn't realise that your sensibilities were so offended by their journalism degree and experience in the field. Food critics probably go to more restaurants than you, and they're certainly more qualified to be a writer than you, so maybe, just maybe, their critique has got an edge on yours? Muse on that one. Also, another one I hear, which pisses me off to no end, is along the lines of; "how can you be a music critic without being a musician? how can you be a food critic without being a chef?" What a stupid fucking stance to take. Your ability to play a song has no bearing on your ability to critique it, they're two completely different skills. Case in point, I know some musicians with absolutely terrible taste in music, liking all the samey, middle of the road crap like Snow Patrol and Nickelback. If you think Nickelback makes good music, I don't care how well you can play music, you aren't fit to be a critic. You're barely fit to breathe, really.
Floods in the eastern states make me sad, but also make me angry. They make me angry because, even now, I'll bet you there's still climate change deniers. I'm not saying the floods are proof or anything like that, I'm just saying... weren't floods and humid heat waves meant to be the two signs that shit be fucked, and fucked good? Get back to me on that one.
The air conditioning in my car is fucked. This makes me very sad. Just thought I'd insert that one in there.
The price of cigarettes has gone up again. I'm a non-smoker, but I do wonder about the wisdom behind this. I mean, obviously, increased price is a revenue raiser from tax and a disincentive for people to smoke, so that's good, right? But read that sentence again, and think about it; the government makes money off the purchase of cigarettes, but also is behind a campaign to get people to stop smoking... obviously the fewer people who smoke, the better, considering that fewer smokers would mean some weight taken off the medical system (how much I couldn't say, but I'd wager it wouldn't be all that much), but then the government would see diminished takings for cigarette tax. Wake up, sheeple! Isn't it obvious!? The government only wants you to smoke if none of your friends do! I happen to know a few, so I've got no obligation to light up, but the rest of you, I encourage: If you don't know any smokers, take up the habit! It's smooth and mild. This way, the strain on the healthcare system is minimal, but the government still makes money, so we can still have a healthcare system! Winner! The first person to point out ten problems, logical fallacies or straight up errors in that last paragraph wins a six pack from me.
It appears that no-one has taken on board my message (read: whinge) about soppy stati on facebook. Seriously, stop it, you lame fuckers.
Well, that's about it for me, I've run out of ideas. I'd drink some icy cold inspiration, but it's not even 11am, so I'd better keep it to a minimum until past noon. Shocking, I know.
People seem to hate critics. I don't know why. Critics are awesome when they do their job correctly. See, good critics should fall into two categories: embittered bastards who's job it is to say horrible things about people, staying just shy of being illegal and never being that serious and legitimate observers of a craft who make reasoned judgements based on experience and study. The problem I seem to hear a lot is "but that's just their opinion, (what they've just criticised) might be good!" Well excuse me, dickweed, I didn't realise that your sensibilities were so offended by their journalism degree and experience in the field. Food critics probably go to more restaurants than you, and they're certainly more qualified to be a writer than you, so maybe, just maybe, their critique has got an edge on yours? Muse on that one. Also, another one I hear, which pisses me off to no end, is along the lines of; "how can you be a music critic without being a musician? how can you be a food critic without being a chef?" What a stupid fucking stance to take. Your ability to play a song has no bearing on your ability to critique it, they're two completely different skills. Case in point, I know some musicians with absolutely terrible taste in music, liking all the samey, middle of the road crap like Snow Patrol and Nickelback. If you think Nickelback makes good music, I don't care how well you can play music, you aren't fit to be a critic. You're barely fit to breathe, really.
Floods in the eastern states make me sad, but also make me angry. They make me angry because, even now, I'll bet you there's still climate change deniers. I'm not saying the floods are proof or anything like that, I'm just saying... weren't floods and humid heat waves meant to be the two signs that shit be fucked, and fucked good? Get back to me on that one.
The air conditioning in my car is fucked. This makes me very sad. Just thought I'd insert that one in there.
The price of cigarettes has gone up again. I'm a non-smoker, but I do wonder about the wisdom behind this. I mean, obviously, increased price is a revenue raiser from tax and a disincentive for people to smoke, so that's good, right? But read that sentence again, and think about it; the government makes money off the purchase of cigarettes, but also is behind a campaign to get people to stop smoking... obviously the fewer people who smoke, the better, considering that fewer smokers would mean some weight taken off the medical system (how much I couldn't say, but I'd wager it wouldn't be all that much), but then the government would see diminished takings for cigarette tax. Wake up, sheeple! Isn't it obvious!? The government only wants you to smoke if none of your friends do! I happen to know a few, so I've got no obligation to light up, but the rest of you, I encourage: If you don't know any smokers, take up the habit! It's smooth and mild. This way, the strain on the healthcare system is minimal, but the government still makes money, so we can still have a healthcare system! Winner! The first person to point out ten problems, logical fallacies or straight up errors in that last paragraph wins a six pack from me.
It appears that no-one has taken on board my message (read: whinge) about soppy stati on facebook. Seriously, stop it, you lame fuckers.
Well, that's about it for me, I've run out of ideas. I'd drink some icy cold inspiration, but it's not even 11am, so I'd better keep it to a minimum until past noon. Shocking, I know.
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Obligatory Big Day Out Review.
Yeah, what the title said. Anyway, here is, in no particular order, my thoughts on the 2011 Big Day Out in Perth.
Condom balloons. I don't know if this is a uniquely Australian, uniquely Perthian or uniquely Big Day Out, but hot damn is it uniquely stupid. Of all the things you could do with condoms, blowing them into balloons and batting them around during John Butler Trio would rank as one of the stupider things you could do with them. Hell, it wasn't even during Rammstein, when anything dick-related is appropriate. My hat does go off to the people handing out free condoms during the event, high fives for reality. Kids are gonna have sex, best we make it safe. Curiously, they also hand out free sachets of lubricant. That seems slightly less utilitarian to me. I mean, I get the condoms, no one wants a Big Day Out baby, but the lube? It's like "hell, if you're gonna get it on in a port-a-loo, may as well get freaky." So yeah, nice of them to be mature, but the lube seems a little superfluous. Unless it's for gay people or people who are otherwise buttsex inclined. In that case, good on you for covering all bases!
The annual perv day that is Big Day Out. I'm a little curious as to why girls opt to wear as little clothing as one sees on the average stripper during this specific event. It most certainly can't be a keeping cool thing, because this attire really transcends shorts and a top, this is full on, heavy duty slutwear. It can't be comfort either, because some of those outfits look really, well, uncomfortable. Corsets all day? I'm good thanks. Also, probably more G-strings than was on the guitars. But hey, if a tiny, fitted corset and a thong sticking out from the remnants of shorts is what you want to wear all day, in the sun, surrounded by sweaty metalheads, you go girl. Interesting sidenote, try spending most of the day in that environment with a blueballed friend; after a while, his "I'd do ______ to that chick" got less and less sexy and closer to disturbing. The person I'm talking about knows who he is, and I insist he gets some action, asap.
Hip-hop acts on the main stage! What the hell, Ken West? I know it's popular now, but so's Katy Perry. Seriously, make it a little more crowd appropriate. Dumping Lupe Fiasco and Nondescript Australian Hip-Hop Guys (yeah, that's the bands name. I'm not lying. Or maybe I am. Fuck Australian hip-hop) right in between AC/DC tribute band Airbourne and the mighty, mighty Deftones is stupid as all hell. Seriously, bit of a tonal shift, maybe? Dead Letter Circus (prog metal), Airbourne (hard rock), Lupe Fiasco (who gives a shit), Bliss and Eso (aforementioned shite), Deftones (fuck yeah alt metal), Birds of Tokyo (guitars 'n shit, they're ok). Maybe it's just me, but it just screws with the whole feeling that's happening. Awesome for all the Deftones fans that started booing them towards the end of their set, though.
Best moments: The whole Dead Letter Circus set, failed yet fun circle pit during "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K., Kim Benzie from DLC (who's my favourite band at the moment, I wonder?) singing the Maynard James Keenan parts during "Passenger" by Deftones, Iggy Pop flipping off the John Butler Trio for dragging their set on for too long, the cement mixer penis covering the crowd with fake semen during Rammstein and Maynard announcing that Tool would keep playing until "someone kicks us off". They only played two more songs after that, but still, it was awesome.
As a dickhead, however, I have to mention that Maynard's steady loss of his voice is a little upsetting, bordering on the insipid. The best parts of "Vicarious" and "The Pot" were so incredibly anticlimactic that they were akin to masturbating to the point of release and then stopping before the money shot and watching the news instead. Just so frustrating... Seriously Maynard, get some vocal coaching or something, we want the big sustained notes.
Being the generous kinda guy I am, I will also do a full length post on Tuesday. This was going to be the Tuesday post but I figured that was lazy. Feel free to send me hundreds of dollars as a thankyou.
Condom balloons. I don't know if this is a uniquely Australian, uniquely Perthian or uniquely Big Day Out, but hot damn is it uniquely stupid. Of all the things you could do with condoms, blowing them into balloons and batting them around during John Butler Trio would rank as one of the stupider things you could do with them. Hell, it wasn't even during Rammstein, when anything dick-related is appropriate. My hat does go off to the people handing out free condoms during the event, high fives for reality. Kids are gonna have sex, best we make it safe. Curiously, they also hand out free sachets of lubricant. That seems slightly less utilitarian to me. I mean, I get the condoms, no one wants a Big Day Out baby, but the lube? It's like "hell, if you're gonna get it on in a port-a-loo, may as well get freaky." So yeah, nice of them to be mature, but the lube seems a little superfluous. Unless it's for gay people or people who are otherwise buttsex inclined. In that case, good on you for covering all bases!
The annual perv day that is Big Day Out. I'm a little curious as to why girls opt to wear as little clothing as one sees on the average stripper during this specific event. It most certainly can't be a keeping cool thing, because this attire really transcends shorts and a top, this is full on, heavy duty slutwear. It can't be comfort either, because some of those outfits look really, well, uncomfortable. Corsets all day? I'm good thanks. Also, probably more G-strings than was on the guitars. But hey, if a tiny, fitted corset and a thong sticking out from the remnants of shorts is what you want to wear all day, in the sun, surrounded by sweaty metalheads, you go girl. Interesting sidenote, try spending most of the day in that environment with a blueballed friend; after a while, his "I'd do ______ to that chick" got less and less sexy and closer to disturbing. The person I'm talking about knows who he is, and I insist he gets some action, asap.
Hip-hop acts on the main stage! What the hell, Ken West? I know it's popular now, but so's Katy Perry. Seriously, make it a little more crowd appropriate. Dumping Lupe Fiasco and Nondescript Australian Hip-Hop Guys (yeah, that's the bands name. I'm not lying. Or maybe I am. Fuck Australian hip-hop) right in between AC/DC tribute band Airbourne and the mighty, mighty Deftones is stupid as all hell. Seriously, bit of a tonal shift, maybe? Dead Letter Circus (prog metal), Airbourne (hard rock), Lupe Fiasco (who gives a shit), Bliss and Eso (aforementioned shite), Deftones (fuck yeah alt metal), Birds of Tokyo (guitars 'n shit, they're ok). Maybe it's just me, but it just screws with the whole feeling that's happening. Awesome for all the Deftones fans that started booing them towards the end of their set, though.
Best moments: The whole Dead Letter Circus set, failed yet fun circle pit during "Party Hard" by Andrew W.K., Kim Benzie from DLC (who's my favourite band at the moment, I wonder?) singing the Maynard James Keenan parts during "Passenger" by Deftones, Iggy Pop flipping off the John Butler Trio for dragging their set on for too long, the cement mixer penis covering the crowd with fake semen during Rammstein and Maynard announcing that Tool would keep playing until "someone kicks us off". They only played two more songs after that, but still, it was awesome.
As a dickhead, however, I have to mention that Maynard's steady loss of his voice is a little upsetting, bordering on the insipid. The best parts of "Vicarious" and "The Pot" were so incredibly anticlimactic that they were akin to masturbating to the point of release and then stopping before the money shot and watching the news instead. Just so frustrating... Seriously Maynard, get some vocal coaching or something, we want the big sustained notes.
Being the generous kinda guy I am, I will also do a full length post on Tuesday. This was going to be the Tuesday post but I figured that was lazy. Feel free to send me hundreds of dollars as a thankyou.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Advertising Space
It has come to my attention that you can make money from the internet. As such, I demand American Apparel advertise on this blog, as all the cool kid sites seem to have their banner ads. The ball's in your court, American Apparel. Get back to me.
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