There has nary been an instance in the history of mankind where some humourless, semi-literate mismatch of amino acids, generally with awful taste in music, does not chime into any discussion about the merits (or lack thereof) to a certain band or artist with the most inane contribution to any discussion imaginable; “well, that’s just your opinion”. They’ll generally say it with a self-righteous haughtiness in their ability to so amazingly dismantle your point with an observation as unnecessary as a steel-capped condom. Well, no more dice, I’m sick of hearing this one size covers all conversation rapist spouted any time I express a view on an artist that I happen to dislike. So, here’s what’s going to happen; I’m going to tell you why a certain artist is devoid of anything remotely positive WITHOUT using any opinions. Obviously it’s hard to do this, considering anything expressed on music is inherently subjective, but there must be an artist whose very existence is veritable mind cancer, a black hole of merit that warrants that they never be allowed to make music again.
That artist is Pink (or P!NK as it is typeset nowadays). Demolition of syntax notwithstanding, Pink represents almost everything bad about people in one compact, bulldog-looking package. Pedantic, childish, opinionated, hypocritical, artificial and crude, she is a study in how not to be a human being. A member of PETA, she spoke out about the practice of mulesing in the Australian wool industry. For the uninitiated, mulesing is the process of removing a small amount of wool-bearing skin from the anus of sheep, preventing them from contracting flystrike. The National Farmers Federation has stated that “without mulesing up to 3,000,000 sheep a year could die a slow and agonising death from flystrike”, a statement supported the Australian Veterinary Association. That’s correct, Pink was opposed to procedures that prevented a horrible death for millions of sheep. To her credit, she retracted that statement when she did further research indicating PETA misled her. But also after she vociferously attacked a long-standing and hard working industry based on something that, effectively, she took to be true by a bunch of hippies. Staggering intellect there.
Furthermore, her unfortunate habit of firing off her tongue before thinking has been documented on a much more open stage: the international pop music charts. Her song “So What” features lyrics that explicitly call her then estranged husband a “tool” and states that she’s having much more fun without him, and that she doesn’t need him. This was released on September 7, 2008. In March 2009 they began dating again, and are now back together. So, either she’s married to a tool who she hates and has more fun without, or her song was a childish rant when things got too difficult. Which is it, dear? It would seem that she is one of the “stupid girls” that she sung about.
And that’s another thing! Despite her claims that she is, in fact, a rock star, and that she wants to smash the system (check the song “Funhouse”, it’s all there), which I assume means the music industry, she hires with hit-machine songwriters and producers, funds ridiculously over the top live shows and productions and lines the pockets of the “evil clown” record executives with the money from her fans! Burn it down? Pink, you’re watering the pot plants and dusting the banisters of the system, you’re its annoying maid. And a girl power icon? Way to promote equality and feminine empowerment by wearing a one-piece and showing your arse on the cover of your “Live in Australia” DVD, or by wearing nothing by a robe and some nipple tape in the “Like a Pill” video clip.
So there you have it, demonstrably a loudmouthed, hypocritical and unpleasant person. It’s just my opinion? Nope, it’s just shit.
No comments:
Post a Comment