Now With Samples!

So, it happens that Pete Wentz is starting a new band. A female fronted electro-pop outfit. Good for him! After all, it’s high time he cast off the shackles of cynically cashing in on pop trends with pop-punk and moved onto the greener pastures of cynically cashing in on pop trends with electro-pop. For the uninitiated, Pete Wentz was the bassist (and lyricist!) of Fall Out Boy. Among his talents were applying eyeliner, sculpting a fringe and knocking up the dud Simpson sister. I know, that’s harsh, but you know it to be true. At any rate, he took a break from music after Fall Out Boy’s break up but is currently working on the yet-unnamed project. Obviously, as a cynic and a music fan, I’m not expecting anything good out of this, but it does make you reflect on certain trends, namely how punk became pop punk, which is now morphing into electro-pop. Sound familiar? Green Day and Blink 182 inspiring Fall Out Boy and All Time Low, which paved the way for the latest synth pop abortions like Cobra Starship? Blow it out your ass. 70’s punk like The Sex Pistols and The Damned facilitated post punk groups like Adam and the Ants and Bow Wow Wow, as well as more experimental fare like Magazine, which would in turn inspire the electro movement. All this is following a pattern! Young anger/angst/rebelliousness/whatever gets co-opted and softened to appeal to teenage girls, then some dickhead discovers synthesisers and music fans have to suffer through a good 5-8 years of bleepy shit (that gets revived a decade or so later because it’s kitsch) before someone flips out and invents grunge. I’m not a fucking prophet but I can tell you right now it’s only a matter of time before the nineties aesthetic comes rolling back and kicks all your arses for wearing two hats and clothes on funny angles. And you’ll deserve it.