Sorry for the late post, I've been a bit all over the place lately. This may be a consistent theme for some time, life is just crammed full of stuff right now. Uni, work, the constant struggle just to get out of bed... yep, it's a cavalcade of wonder.
So, I wanted to write this one like a wondrous tale of adventure, similar to the way Allie Brosh writes in the delightful Hyperbole And A Half, but she's all full of joy and I'm full of bitter hatred for all mankind, so that didn't work out. So, here's a rant about why doctors rule.
Doctors, man. They're smarter than you. They're smarter than you because they went through some ridiculous amount of schooling, filled their heads with incredible amounts of vital lifesaving knowledge and they do not get paid enough. They dedicated the best part of their youth to learning the skills necessary to stop you from dying if you drink too much, or fall off your bike or do something else stupid that is your own damn fault but as a society we don't like the idea of idiots killing themselves off so you get treatment anyway. Which is fine, you shouldn't die if you do something stupid, but don't give doctors shit.
You always hear the same old screeds from people, it's fucking retarded. "Doctors never know what's going on, they never get it right." Yeah, OK, I know some people that have had some pretty awful experiences as a result of doctors making a mistake, but luckily, another doctor came along and didn't make a mistake, and so they're still alive. Can you really begrudge them for making a few mistakes? Their job is saving lives, all the time, forever. You don't know the stress they have, it's huge. Not only that, do you count all the times doctors get it right? I would imagine the amount of mistakes doctors make over the amount of times they get it right would be a pretty fucking tiny number, you only hear about the mistakes because people want their 15 minutes of fame and malpractice money. I make an exception for deaths and when quality of life is adversely affected as a result of negligence here, but that shouldn't tar all doctors with the same brush.
Then there's the whole "doctors talk down to you" complaint. What do you expect? You've come in for a sore throat, what's he gonna say? If it's winter, he's probably heard that shit like 20 times today. He tells you to go home, drink some Lemsip or something. Then you bitch coz you wanted, I dunno, Xanax and methadone for your uncontrollable discomfort... just do what they say for fuck's sake. Why do you think you're smarter than them? What on earth gave you that impression? Would you bitch to an engineer about his bridge building skills? Of course you fucking wouldn't, you suck at maths, but suddenly you're a medical super-genius because it's not just a sore foot, it's inoperable foot cancer and fuck Mr. Medical Degree if he says otherwise! No wonder my blood pressure is high all the fucking time, having to listen to people telling me why their expert diagnosis is somehow superior to their GP's.
New age hippies, please shut up about how modern medicine has failed. It totally fucking hasn't. The native whereverthefuckyou'refrom-ians didn't have a cure for cancer, you're fucking stupid. You know how we know? Because of SCIENCE. If they did, we'd be taking whatever weed has this magical property, isolating the active ingredient, sticking in in a pill with a picture of leukemia being punched in the nuts on it and shipping that shit out as fast as we could produce and charge people for it. Haven't had such luck yet, but hey, this particular mixture of grasses and ox sperm might do it... oh wait, no it won't. Moron. I know I covered this in the homeopathy rant, but open-minded is not the same as "buying whatever bullshit that spiritual weirdo du-jour is selling." And on that topic, you notice how new age hippie medicine men, crystal energy exponents, psychics and basically every psuedo-scientific nutjob with a unique "insight" into the workings of the universe charge for their services? Oh man, modern medicine is totally profit driven, it disrespects mother earth, but you can have this yellow piece of silicon dioxide that prevents you from feeling vexation for the low, low price of $50.00. A cursory googling or a rudimentary understanding of geology should tell you that most of these so-called magic stones have exactly the same chemical structure save a slight impurity giving them their colour, and yet they can apparently do all these wildly different things that have little to no explanation attached to them. Apparently I'm an earth sign, which means I'm supposed to be level headed and reasonable... guess what, you frauds? I'm going to cut your legs off. Maybe I'm a fire sign.
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