OK, first, a heads up; I'm going to the UK on the 23rd, and the update schedule is gonna be fucked. I may update, I may not, we'll see. In addition, I'm going to be quite busy on the days leading up to the trip, so in addition to this post, there may be one on Monday, there won't be a Tuesday one. Posts on Monday and maaaaaybe Wednesday are contingent on me getting ideas.
So, I bag out a lot of obvious targets here. Rebecca Black, Creationists, psuedo-hippies, Nickelback... yeah, all easy shots. But it occurs to me, occasionally your team needs a good spanking to remind them they aren't safe. So, a post directed at all you retard atheists out there.
Obviously, not every atheist is stupid, blanket statements are for losers. Just as it is with members of religions, so it is with the irreligious. Now, since there's no unified atheist dealie that isn't just plain silly, I can't really say "you're making us look bad!" because there is no "us." I suppose the closest thing I can say is "You're putting a bad light on a worldview I happen to share with you, and I'd very much like you to stop." Again, I don't claim to have some privileged insight into atheism that no-one else has twigged, but seriously, there's a few things I'm surprised you morons haven't realised yet.
1) Atheist means "doesn't believe in any gods or subscribe to any god claims." That's literally it. The next time someone calls birth control or abortion an "atheist issue," I'm going to flip my lid. What exactly makes them atheist issues? Last time I checked, there weren't any gods flushing out unwanted foetuses on the side of their supernatural business. Just because a specific religious group, or a subset thereof, have decided it's an issue they have to take on, doesn't mean you're obliged, as a non-believer, to take up arms against them. You can be atheist and pro-life. It's very easy.
2) You don't have to make a big stink about everything religious. This idea of calling-to-arms nonbelievers to shut down anything religious groups organise is just fucking retarded. I had an English journalist brag to a whole lecture hall full of students how she organised a protest against the Pope's visit to London. Why? What the fuck does that achieve? He has as much right to tour and preach to his choir as anyone else. I didn't see you picketing The Dalai Lama, you hypocritical bitch. If you want to promote atheism as a worldview on the same page as any other religion, by all means, shut down discussion and picket events that promote ideas other than your own. Me, I like debate and free-thought. Make a stink about religious claims, but don't get in a tizzy because the local church is holding a Catholic bake sale. Fuck.
3) You can believe good things for bad reasons. This is kinda the opposite of the whole "I believe in God as a safety net" thing. If the belief that there's a dude out there who watches over you is a helpful psychological tool to keep you on the straight and narrow and help you cope with life, that's fine, go for your life. If said dude starts telling you that gay people should be killed... yeah, maybe rein that fucker in. Anyway, to the point; you might be an atheist, hey that's great, but if your reason is that "I'm mad at God!" (yeah, it happens) or "I wanna stick it to my Mum and Dad!" you're doing it wrong. If your worldview can be changed that quickly for petty reasons, you're a credulous numbskull, atheist or not. Saying it doesn't make you any smarter just as saying you're a Christian makes you any more moral. If you honestly believe that there isn't a God, you just know it in your heart, you can't explain it but you know... sorry dude, you may have evidence behind you but that doesn't stop you being clueless, and frankly there's nothing to really stop you believing anything that seems remotely appealing, because your worldview has no foundations.
4) You can believe in faeries all you like, but you might be a tad confused. I know a few self-proclaimed atheists that still believe in spirits and reincarnation and all that crap, and frankly, I don't know why you're even atheist. It's probably a "don't like organised religion" or "the church opposes a lifestyle choice/aspect of my personality/my sexuality" style thing. You can be separate from organised religions and still theistic/deistic in your worldview, it is allowed. Thing is, if you subscribe to forms of woo that aren't necessarily "religious" in nature, you're just giving me a different target to tear down. Remember, the logic that shits on god claims pretty emphatically shits on any supernatural, spiritual or deistic claims as well. Think long and hard: if there really is such a thing as faeries/reincarnation/the reptilian Illuminati/the unprovable 9-11 conspiracy, why couldn't there be a god as well? What's stopping it?
5) "Lol I flipped off a priest lol"... yeah, well done shithead. I cannot stress this enough, people: HAVE A POINT! Random acts of douchery aren't suddenly made valiant strikes for "the cause" because it was against a religious institution. Why is PZ Myers' thing about putting a nail through the host different from pissing on a church wall? Because he wasn't just trying to get a rise out of people, he was making a point. Yeah, sure, it was a point that was always gonna piss some people off, but there was still a point there and a demonstration to be made. For the record, I'd piss on a church as soon as I'd piss on any other building, because I see public urination as a victimless crime, provided it's done in a discreet fashion and isn't being done to be offensive or vulgar.
That about covers it. I could go on a lot longer but I think this touches on all the important bits. If I think of any more they'll be added to the list, but as far as just a quick cover of the bases, it works well. To recap:
1) Atheism refers solely to god claims, not social issues or maths problems or recipes.
2) Don't just make knee-jerk anti-religious ejaculations; respect their right to express their ideas, and critique the ideas.
3) Have a solid, demonstrable explanation for your atheism that isn't just pettiness or emotional assertions.
4) Don't expect atheist leanings to give you an instant pass on other ridiculous beliefs.
5) If you're going to try to make an anti-religious statement, have a point.
P.S. I'd like to state for the record, this isn't me cooling down on my ragging on religious claims. I don't care how many atheists happen to be douchey idiots, every god claim has shaky logical and scientific foundations, and there ain't no two ways about it. Best you silently shut up and get back to reading a fucking science book instead of crowing about how soft I'm getting, lest I tear you a new arsehole (logically, that is).
No comments:
Post a Comment