The post has nothing to do with the title, I'm just establishing a connection with my readers by giving them an insight into my life. I just had a slice of watermelon, it was good, not great. I also have a splitting headache and I don't know why. The paracetamol hasn't done anything yet.
So, people are uptight. It's a little annoying, and as such I would like to address this topic. I've noticed two distinct kinds of uptightness as well, and one pisses me off more than the other. The one I'm indifferent to is where people kinda laugh and blush when something off colour is said. It's not a character judgement or anything so harsh, it's just an acknowledgment that what was said may have been bad taste and that appeals to the primal 6-year-old in our heads. The kind of people who laugh when people laugh at words like "balls" and "tit". I have no issue laughing at pseudo-dirty words, the world has enough serious people as it is.
The kind of uptight people that piss me off are the people who don't laugh, or even just let it go. I'm talking about the people who are offended by poop jokes. To you all, I say: GET THE FUCK OVER IT. People defecate, people masturbate and some talented people defecate while they masturbate. It's at this point I leave myself open to a frank and comprehensive straw-manning, but I'm going to head you off at the pass here and say I don't think people should have loud, detailed conversations about a delightful shit they've taken while on the train any more than I think it's appropriate to take said shit on said train. Some well timed blue humour dotted within conversation is great, a blow by blow of your night with righty is less appropriate.
Obviously a lot of this is, in some way, subjective. It's very hard to suddenly not be offended by something that used to offend you just because someone told you to suck it up. Unfortunately, that's my advice. SUCK IT UP. If someone makes a reference to one of those oh-so-taboo yet natural things people do every day (you know, except whacking it. Although some people may whack it every day. I suppose it's pretty habit forming), please try your best not to be mortified. There are much worse things to talk about. And, for the record, I'd rather be offensive than boring. As such, here's a paragraph of swears and generally offensive phrases.
Fuck shit shit fuck cunt bastard. Bastard cunt whore slut fuck shit shit fuck fuck. Shit fuck anal sex cunt shit bastard masturbation. Fuck fuck fuck Hitler was right fuck kike chink fuckin' nigger cunt. (And yeah, I realise that this is both boring AND offensive. I'm doing double duty.)
Suck it up.
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