Nintendo Made Me Into A Man.

Man, kids these days? Friggin' soft. Bunch of whiny, entitled pansies with no exceptions. And the reason for this? Video games.

"Yeah, fuckin' vidjagames! Kids should be out playing football and punching each other in the sun and shit!" No, shut the fuck up. Wrong, wrong, wrong. The reason this generation is soft is because they never had to truly experience the vicious, mind rending frustration that was true "Nintendo Hard."

P.S. people pointing out that this flies straight into the face of an earlier post of mine, that post was about each generation sucking to approximately the same degree. I'm just getting stupidly specific about one aspect of the iGen-crowd's particular brand of suckiness.

See, back in the day, you didn't pass videogames while baked on a weekday, oh no. They required concentration, rationing and some pretty inspirational speeches from friends to pass. I personally remember the joy and fanfare experienced when I watched a young friend finally conquer Megaman 7 on the Super Nintendo Entertainment System. That final boss was a colossus and he was toppled, toppled I say! Defeating Bowser in Super Mario 64 for the last time, after you've chased that fucker around for 120 stars worth of gameplay and you could finally rescue the Princess... that was some heavy shit. People spoke of that as if they'd seen a fucking yeti. Where's that sense of achievement now? Where's the intense sense of accomplishment that used to come with conquering a mighty Nintendo game?

The kids these days, they pass 4 games a day. I quit gaming last generation back (save every new Pokemon game) when I got to the end of the latest 007 title in one sitting. I got to the last level and had to put the controller down. I hadn't achieved anything... I'd just sauntered to the last level. Remember GoldenEye? If you passed the Control level where you had to protect Natalya in one go, you must have been some sort of autistic videogame savant, because that was not made for normal human beings.

I know it seems petty, but when you think about it, if someone had never experienced the intense sense of achievement at the completion of an incredibly difficult task as a child, why would they have any incentive to try hard at anything as an adult? Muse on this...