Look, I'm Still A Bit Jetlagged, I'll Get My Shit Together In A Week Or So

Apparently "coneing" is the new "planking." This is stupid on so many fucking levels, these are levels of stupid I wasn't sure existed. I now have incontrovertible proof that stupidity is a fractal, because of this new fact. I don't even know what "coneing" even is, and I have no interest in finding out.
Frankly, it doesn't matter what it is, it's either gonna be more, or less, or equal to how stupid planking was/is. It's just another thing people do to while away the time while they wait for love or death or taxes, whatever comes first. I mean, I write a blog complaining about other human beings instead of doing something productive, so it's not as if I'm in a privileged position where I can pass judgement on the validity to activities. I'm gonna judge the shit out of you, I personally find planking to be the dumbest thing out, but that's not to say I'm any more or less lame. Relax, mere mortals, plank on.
What does cause my eye to do that unhealthy twitching thing is the idea that "x" is the new "y". It pisses me off because, for one, it's never true. Ever. Like it or not, every fad, every passing interest anyone has, is unique. Yeah, sure, everyone is leaning over the shoulders of the past and copying ideas from yesteryear, but that's just the human condition, you can't not do that. You can be a pretentious snob and palm off any new idea as underneath you because it's just "the new x," but what does that achieve? Planking might be stupid, but the new thing might be alright. Look at Pokemon, that shit is still fun.
That's pretty petty, though. It's really your prerogative how you do anything at all, ever, and if you want to ignore a fad, go nuts. I'm doing it right now. My real problem is how music/film/art/food/anything critics feel that it's a valid comparison or evaluation of anything. I've heard bands called "the new Radiohead," "the new Nirvana" and "the new Replacements," but does that provide any critique, evaluation or new information about the group? Nope, it just provides people a familiar name in which to cram their new experiences into an old box.
We ran out of genres a while back, and so rather than describing experiences via arbitrary words, we now describe them as a new version of an old one. Is this progress? I don't even know. Fuck's sake, journalists, do your job right.